Bruised/Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

Rejection

Sensitive

Dysphoria

RSD

A by-product of ADHD

That's me!

It sneaks up on you when you least expect it

Anywhere

Anyplace

Any fucking how

At

Any

Fucking

Time

It's like a tidal wave

Smashing into my body and soul

Knocking me off my feet

Punching me beyond defeat

My RSD becomes my inner voice

When I've forgotten deadlines

Forgotten appointments

Or I haven't tried my best

Putting me to the test.

When my body can't keep up

It will pour shit on me

From the shittiest cup

And then it starts saying

You're rubbish at......

Running - you will never run fast

You're too fat

You're shit at that!

You're shit at football

You run out of puff

You stupid fucking Chuff!

You can't kick a ball

You let in goals

People are just putting up with you

You don't deserve any of these roles!

You're slack with your work

You got pulled up on a report

For not spell checking

Or checking the grammar

You always come up short!

Shame on you!

You fat fucking scammer!

You're a crap parent

The kids know that

They put up with you

Until they can leave

Shut the door behind them

And feel so relieved.

You deserve nothing!

You're crap at everything!

You're old, grey and fat

Nobody will ever love that!

(Pause)

And then the wave recedes

The black clouds move away

I open my eyes

And see the bruises

That RSD left......

I felt every punch

The fists pummelling me

Beyond recognition

But now

I am free.

It's gone for now

To return once more

My spiteful friend RSD

Will knock me to the floor

And pound me once again

To my very core.